Where it all began…
Just before turning 50, I found myself in the midst of a divorce, feeling frumpy, and no longer even feeling like a woman. My life for the last several years consisted of living with a husband that was merely a roommate, working non-stop, eating dinner, watching TV. Repeat…
One day, I started looking at old photos of myself and asked, “When did I stop doing my nails, working out, shopping for nice clothes?” Things I used to do religiously. The truth was, I didn’t even know how to shop for clothes anymore. Walking into a store felt intimidating — like I didn’t belong. Elegant women shop here, I’d think. And I felt like a worthless lump that had just let herself go instead of the beautiful, vibrant girl I used to be. I was living in survival mode.
I was miserable, unhappy, and could not keep going on like this. Is this really how the rest of my life is going to be? Same sh*t, different day? No passion, no excitement? I was so low I even wondered if it would be easier to just drive into oncoming traffic. Something’s gotta give!
At first I tried a psychiatrist and depression meds, but they didn’t work for me. I quickly stopped taking them and stuck with talk therapy instead. Someone who could listen to all of my verbal vomit, rage, and tears without judgment, and help me see things from a new perspective. I even found myself Googling: “How do you know when it’s time to leave your marriage?”
I was unfulfilled and exhausted from the dishonesty and broken promises. Yet, I had made a commitment 15 years earlier — ‘til death do us part — and, I’m a firm believer in the sanctity of marriage. I won’t go into all the sordid details, but the turning point for me came down to two things. First, my therapist asked me: “Melody, he may give you what you want, but can he give you what you need?” And second, I discovered he had been reading my journal and checking my phone in the middle of the night — even though I had never given him a reason to doubt me.
That was it. After wrestling with my fears of being alone and the uncertainty of the future, I took a leap of faith. I filed for divorce. I knew I had lost myself — and it was time to fight for her again.
That decision was the start of my 2023 transformation.
Rediscovering Me
I’ve always journaled off and on, but this was the point I committed to doing it daily. Every morning at 5:00 AM, I poured my heart into those pages — all the fears, the hopes, and the discoveries about who I was and what I truly wanted.
One of the biggest shifts was realizing I had never really asked myself what I loved. Not in furniture, not in clothes, not in relationships. I had spent years settling. So, I cleared out everything I didn’t love — right down to the furniture. I was willing to live with NOTHING until I could fill my space with pieces that made me feel alive again.
That’s when the little things became huge victories — a reminder that I was finally choosing things because they mattered to me. (I’ll share the whole sofa/ pillow story in another post, but here’s a hint: the day I brought it home, I hugged it with the biggest smile, because it wasn’t just a pillow. It was proof that I was fighting for what I believed in — myself.)
The Transformation
That year I went through a major transformation — and I’ll be sharing the details in upcoming posts. I went from chaos to confidence and started truly believing in myself again. Along the way, I learned how to date in midlife after divorce (complete with a few horror stories that came with their own lessons), how to rebuild my self-worth, how to fuel my body to lose weight and gain muscle, and how affirmations and manifesting can completely shift your life.
At one session, my therapist looked at me and said, “Who is this new girl? Is this Melody?”
(Love you, Irish!) That was the moment I realized just how far I had come.
I created a life that I now LOVE!
That moment — when I realized I had lost myself and needed to fight for her again — was the seed of Hot Flashy & Sassy. Once I experienced the power of these lessons, it became my passion to share them with every woman I possibly could. It’s too good to keep to myself. I want every woman to understand that loving yourself really is the greatest love of all. (Thank you Whitney!)
Because Hot Flashy & Sassy isn’t just a brand. It’s a movement. A reminder that life after 50 isn’t the end of the story — it’s the beginning of a bold, sassy new chapter.
And if you’ve ever felt invisible, stuck, or like you’re just living in survival mode, know this: you are not alone — and it’s never too late to rise again.
Still Hot. Still Lifting. Still Got It.
This is just the beginning. Since meeting Rick — the love of my life — I’ve been stepping into my next chapter with more purpose than ever. (And yes, I actually wrote him into existence through journaling and manifesting — but that’s a whole other story I’ll share soon 😉).
Now, with 6 months until I walk down the aisle, I’m on a mission for my ultimate bridal glow-up — and I want you on this mission with me.
Operation Hot & Sassy launches Monday:
6 months. 6 missions. One powerful transformation.
Let’s do this together.
💖 – Melody
